come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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