butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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