I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
