at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
