I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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