Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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