It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Oh god it's open bar.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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