You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
