No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
