How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
