You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
