i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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