She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
her facebook's as public as her vagina
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
