What a fucking waste of an outfit
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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