we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
