I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
