Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize