id be glad to
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
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