I wish i was in the wii world.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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