Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
