so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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