ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
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