"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
