This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
