which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
