if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
