u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
