Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
