i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
