well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
