That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
