Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
