Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
