thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
