It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
