my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
