need another drink. this is the easiest way
Pappa wants mamma naked
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
