I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
