i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
You ate ashes out of my bong
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
