Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
