so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
