so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
