he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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