White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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