We won't sleep together?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
