Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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