I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I love having hate sex.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
