So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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