Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
