4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
