Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
