i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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