I'll bet she douches with gravy.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
