I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
