i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
