I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
