shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
